Thursday, May 04, 2006

It Sucks To Be Me (Avenue Q)

It's not enough that I have to live with my parents with no car in the most boring city in the world and be doing theatre that I don't get paid for. No. This city has to be a big fat asshole and continuously attempt to make my life as miserable as possible. I get cut from work and no one can come pick me up because my mom has the car and doesn't know how to answer her cell phone. Fabulous. I decide to take the bus, which I loathe doing but a cab would have been $20 and I barely made that much in tips today because the weather was shitty. Fantastic. I get on the bus, but don't pick up a transfer, which apparently is needed as a proof of purchase (POP Transfer they call it. How fucking gay is that?). Because I've lost my luck somewhere in Toronto, the fare inspectors get on the bus two stops before where I'm supposed to get off. Yes, that's right. This gay city has gay fare inspectors get on the gay bus to make sure gay people have paid for the gay ride. Splendid. Of course I don't have one (because I snuck in the back door, but they don't have to know that) but I insist that I've paid the ridiculous $3 fare but simply didn't take a transfer because I don't need to transfer buses. So me and three other poor souls are pulled off the bus in the middle of nowhere. Wonderful. They ask for my I.D. What am I gonna do? Run? They write me a ticket. Fine, I think. What the hell could the fine be? $30? I can manage that. Zing. Oh, no. I'm handed a ticket for ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS! Outrageous. It's not enough that the fare is way too high for shitty, shitty service, but a fucking fine for not having a fucking transfer is one hundred and fifty fucking dollars? I'm disgusted. I want to throw up all over Ottawa, I hate it so much. Any thoughts about postponing my leaving here are dead. The sooner, the better. So the "inspector" kindly points out that I can go to some court in the west end and contest it in court in front of a judge. He even tells me how which bus to take there. How sweet. What a lovely man. I'm throwing up in my mouth, not a little, but a lot. I have steam coming out of my ears. This is how Hud must feel about the TTC. Public transit is an asshole and I'm now boycotting the OC Transpo forever. It may be more expensive and set me back a lot, but it's all about cabs from here on in. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

Did I mention that Mastercard called me at work and told me that if I don't give them $190 this week I'm being turned over to a collection agency? HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

Meanwhile I've been making NO MONEY at work because that bitch Mother Nature keeps raining out the patio so I'm walking away with a mere $20 - $40 in tips a day. I finally got my first paycheck today and it's for a measly $130, which doesn't cover either bill. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

The theme of this blog is hate. And throwing up.

2 comments:

Warrior Princesse Alathariel said...

It really does suck to be you. I can't believe that the Ottawa TTC is as gay as the TTC!

May I join in your hate?

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

Lindsay said...

I'm sorry. Tell the ticket guy to lick you where you poo.