Several people in my life are cheating, being cheated on, getting their mistresses pregnant, breaking up, getting divorced, having bad attitudes in rehearsal, dying and committing suicide, being lonely, loosing touch with best friends, being stuck in ruts, fighting, making stupid decisions, closing amazing broadway shows. It's bringing me down, man. I wake up every morning and try to be happy and it lasts most of the day. Then I'll get some bad news or someone in rehearsal will act like a fucktard or my director will be a total idiot and I'll go to bed with worry. I wake up feeling better every morning, but my sleeps ain't so nice. I want everyone to be happy. Then I can be happy. Can everyone just get their lives together so that I can live my life in peace, please?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Ugh. Schadenfreude means taking pleasure at the expense of other's misfortunes. I'm feeling the opposite. I'm loved by all my friends and family. I've taken two trips to New York this summer that have left me on a high I'm still feeling. I'm getting the hang of choreographing and it's turning out pretty well. I have a job lined up doing children's theatre again in Toronto in February. There's a boy I like. I should feel off the charts awesome. But when I look at what's going down around me, I get not so happy.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Okay, our working relationship is not that bad, but I'm sick of having to constantly fix her mistakes. Why is the director of my show so stupid? Ugh. I hate that she's can't acknowledge that she's an amateur. Why would she block all the classroom scene with all the students facing upstage? The ones with lines, even! Why would she want someone who can't play violin but can play piano to be playing violin while standing next to a piano? I've managed to get my point across on many occasions and I've fought and won many battles. But between me and the musical director we're definitely started to step on her toes and I can tell she's going to snap any moment. But we're not doing it to make her feel shitty, we're doing it to fix her shitty work and save the show. Everyone will sound great and the dance numbers will be fucking amazing. The rest of the show will be caca. I feel like I need to be there for every blocking rehearsal to give the actor tips when the director gives them no direction. This is getting exhausting for me. I barely have time to come up with choreography, so I can't be spending extra time working on her shit. This is gay. I always remind myself and the people around me that I'm new at this and I need help. I have an assistant and I allow comments and input from my cast. Why can't she be so open? It works for me. We're both nice people. I guess I'm just smarter. I can't wait until this is over and I never have to do this again.