I Think I Can Play This Part (The Goodbye Girl)

The cookies were good. I ate them with milk as I watched Sex And The City. I then danced to the theme song that played over the end credits, and I was wearing the pants and, let me tell you, I was a fabulous latin ballroom dancer, rivaling Artem from last season's So You Think You Can Dance.

When someone moved to Montreal, I decided to be Miranda to their Carrie, to tell them to come home when the Russian might eventually beat them. More recently, when someone went to Europe, I tried to play Miranda again, but was told that in my current situation, I am Carrie. I like being Miranda. She's funny, cynical, doesn't know she's looking for love, has a red headed baby... Sounds a lot like me, no?

But I remembered today what it is about Carrie that I love, and I don't know if it's something I possess, but I admire it anyhow. It's her gusto, and the way she reacts when she's angry. Examples include, when she threw the McDonald's across the room when Big casually gave her news she didn't like, when she threw a tantrum at the coffee shop after he told her he's moving to Paris, and when she went to Charlotte asking why she didn't offer her the money to save her apartment. That is something I could NEVER confront a friend about. It would just eat away at me and I would talk to the others about her behind her back. I want Carrie's gusto (and her apartment. Oh God, how I miss my last apartment!) But I'd still rather be Miranda because she's bonkers. I liked when Steve wanted to cuddle on a Saturday and she was like "Ok, how long are we talking here? Twenty minutes? An hour?" That was cute, and very me. Not always, but sometimes. Me. I like being me. I wish Miranda was more like me.

You know how you watch these TV shows and you wish you were them? Like the gang from Friends and the Sexy City girls? I like to think that strangers read our blogs and wish they were us. Because we are pretty fucking fabulous, are we not? I love our lives. And allow me to be the latest blogger to say that I love my blogger friends.

I must note that I know it's bad form to start a sentence with the words "but" and "and". I know this. But I talk like that anyway. I would never write that way professionally. But here I write like I talk. Are we cool? Stop judging me.

I can't wait to join the rest of you in lovahville. It's lovahville, yes? Not lovahland? But make no mistake, I'm not getting my hopes up yet. I just feel left out because I haven't been able to talk about a lovah yet.

Focus.