What The Fuck Was That? (Evil Dead 1&2: The Musical)

Say what?! How did he end up being the first? Not the way I thought it would be at all. But better than I expected.

Waiting For This Moment (Tarzan)

Something huge is about to happen in my life. I'll blog about it when it happens. In the meantime, try and guess. Here's a multiple choice quiz to figure out on your own. Please write your answer in the comment forum.

What life-changing event is Skinny-Rabbit anticipating?

a) The loss of his virginity
b) A major role in a major production that he's been in consideration for but hasn't mentioned because of jinx fears
c) A trip to L.A. with his sister who works in the tv industry and has connections
d) Revealing his true sexual identity to his Lebanese/Mexican Orthodox/Catholic family
e) A nose job! (finally!)
f) His papers for his transfer to the New York Hard Rock are about to go through

What's Wrong With That? (Rags)

Is it bad that I absolutely love off-colour, offensive, even downright racist humour? I don't think it's bad. I think it's funny. I love when my Asian friends tell Asian jokes ("Suplise!"), and I love telling the interracial couple at work that they're breaking the laws of God, and I love telling the black guy at work that "it's because he's black." What I love most about it is that most of the people I've come into contact with lately also think it's funny, regardless of their background. I think the more society dwells on racial issues the more racial issues will be... well, an issue. I don't believe in black history month, and I don't believe in gay pride. But I do believe in black history and I do believe in non-self-loathing gay people. I just tend to think that isolating your group and claiming a month or a week to yourself means that the rest of the year everyone's kind of free to not accept you. If we keep talking about the problem, is the problem ever going to go away? I hate Oprah. Not because she's black, not because she's a woman, and not because she's a black woman, but because I hate that she is so self righteous about everything. I love Sarah Silverman because she's as offensive as can be and says what we're all thinking, even though we weren't actually thinking it. If you want to hear some fucking hilarious quotes of hers, ask Alathariel. I'm not sure if this blog has any structure, but I felt like writing this shit. I guess I'm just trying to say that everytime someone laughs at something offensive, the world becomes a better place.

Small Talk (The Pajama Game)

This video makes me smile. I found it on dlisted.blogspot.com. That guy posted it because it makes him smile too. Goodness me. Is this really how they teach you english in Japan? Click on the screen and it takes you to YouTube, where the title reads English Lessons In Japan Part II. I have got to see Part I! I wish, I wish, I wish, I could be there when Dansy Antsy Pantsy watches this...

I Get A Kick Out Of You, or, You're The Top (Anything Goes)

Ode To Neenia

She spoons me at six in the am.

I introduced her to her very first shawarma at the very best shawarma place in the world (Amir, Montreal).

She says funny things like "Lick me where I pee/bleed." and "Meat Curtain."

She does funny things like pretend to part the lips of a vagina and lick it (and other versions of similiar acts).

She has lived with some of my favourite people.

My Anya.

She's sexy.

I sang Nobody Needs To Know for her.

She's making her way downtown.

She'll trot her hotness.

Allison to my Ivan, we can actually pretty much dance the duet to Why? by Annie Lennox.

She's pretending to sleep behind me.

She has a sexy boyfriend, I think (I've never seen him).

She crushes on eighteen year olds.

Everything in her life relates to Sex And The City, but she's not longer Carrie in Paris getting hit by the Russian.

I love me some Neenia.

Cantiamo D'Amore (Kiss Me, Kate)

Okay, what the hell is with people's desperation to be in a relationship? All of the following events occurred today:

After rehearsal I was waiting for my ride with this annoying girl whom I had decided not to ever talk to because I don't want her to think she can be my friend. But I figured why be an asshole? Might as well make small talk. So she alludes to the fact that she's got the blues. Ugh, fine, I'll bite. What's wrong? Then she makes me promise not to tell anybody. I promise, knowing that I probably won't keep it. Anywho, she starts off her sad story by explain that she has a great life: good parents, funny brother, good grades, loves her singing, yada yada yada. So what could possibly be the one thing wrong? I think to myself, please make it something like she's got an eating disorder or is a cutter. No such luck. She doesn't have a boyfriend and that's her big woe. Get over it girlfriend, I tells her! Bitch is 17. Fuck, she's got her whole life to worry about that shit. I told her that most of us young people in the show are single and we're happy as clams, so chill.

Then I go out to dinner with my parents, my brother, and his girlfriend. All of a sudden, now that jerkface has a girlfriend, he's some sort of matchmaker. My mother was saying that my sister is looking for a boyfriend, so he said when he goes to Hong Kong to visit her, he'll find her someone. Then he's asking my parents if they have anyone for his single friend. And then, when the conversation turned to the daughter of a family friend, my brother asked me why I don't go out with her. Um, hello?!

And just as I'm writing this, my mother asked my father who he was just talking to on the phone, and he explains that this guy he knows is trying to find his daughter a boyfriend. UGH!

It's really frustrating to me that everyone around doesn't think we're whole unless we have a mate. What the fuck? Maybe I'm in denial, but I'm happy to be single. That's not to say that I don't want a relationship or that I never think about it (I do, oh I do), but on my list of priorities, it falls at around number seven. It's not something I'm actively pursuing and it's not something I need right now. I'd rather attack my career full force and work towards getting the hell out of Ottawa.

I'm probably so sickened by these needy people because I really came into my own as a human being when I discovered that I don't need anybody, and I value my independence. I love my friends, but I don't need to be by them every second of the day, or even talk to them more than once a month. As for family, well I could frankly do without them (eek, did I really just write that?). Yes, I get excited when I meet someone new that I have chemistry with, but I always take it slow because I know it might not last. Some of my friends meet someone and thing of marriage. I just don't get it.

Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh (The Phantom Of The Opera)

Why is it never the people you're attracted to that are attracted to you? Ugh.

On a happier note, I happen to have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off next week (that's three days off from work and rehearsal! ... ok, well I have rehearsal on Thursday night but whatever). This is a rare event, so I believe I will be making a sexy trip to Toronto to visit my sexy friends and their sexy new apartments and their sexy old houses.

On another note, I'm also looking into getting a transfer through Hard Rock to work at the one in New York. A dude I work with just got his transfer to the Caribbean, so I want to try New York, but the states is much harder to get into than the rest of the plant, so we'll see what happens.

Why God Why? (Miss Saigon)

You know who I think is funny? Jesus freaks. Now let me first say that I believe in God and I pray sometimes and I want to go to Heaven and all that good stuff. But I just don't understand the Jesus freaks.

The girl who's playing Belle was talking to someone next to me and I could not take my eyes off of her lanyard which had "I LOVE JESUS" written all over it. I was laughing in my head because I kept thinking I want one of those because it's a funny thing to have. I found out that she, Mrs. Potts and Lefou are all churchies who talk about God and Jesus all the time. The funny thing is that Lefou is totally gay but can't come out of the closet or else God will get mad at him. Mrs. Potts looks exactly like Kristen Chenoweth (I'll try to take a picture) and she seems like a really cool chick, so it's kind of disappointing that I might be judged by her in a few weeks when she finds out what a wack job I am. And Belle, oh that Belle. She's a great singer, let me tell you. But I don't know about her. On the very first day of rehearsal, she was catching up with someone who asked "What's new with you?" to which she responded "I have a boyfriend. Wanna see a picture?" And then pulled out a stack of photos of this guy she met three months ago who's in the army or something and is currently away and they are going to get married and have babies when she's 26. Weird? Yeah, kinda. Ah, Jesus freaks.

Private Thoughts (Teddy & Alice)

I keep thinking I should start eating healthy but I never will.

I keep thinking I should start working out but I never will.

I'm very excited that I've been so doing so well at paying off my debt.

I'm a little worried that I won't be making any money at work this fall, but I don't want to leave my job because it's fun.

I'm having a great time doing the show, which I didn't think I would. I'm pleasantly surprised.

I think I'm very talented. It's funny that my biggest strength is my acting, and I haven't had the chance to act in a year.

It's starting to get cold, and when I'm downtown I get flashbacks of being in Ottawa with the Charlie Brown crew.

It's starting to get cold, but it's only the beginning of September. I worry about the effects of global warming.

I want to go to New York to see the revival of A Chorus Line.

I want to go to LA with my sister so that I can meet Salma Hayek, but I'm going to have to wait until her next business trip.

I'm jealous of my sister for her job in the TV industry.

I'm sick of all my clothes, even the new ones. I want to never again wear the same thing twice.

I have a lot of love for myself and I give it to me every chance I get.

I'm happy with my hair.

I'm not happy that I'm almost 26 and I still have acne.

I'm not happy with ProActiv.

I'm hoping that when my career takes off and I tell everyone that I'm 20, that no one from my past will reveal the truth and be able to prove it.

I'm hoping that my career will take off before the world ends from the effects of global warming.

I can't wait to move to Vancouver.

I can't wait to go to Toronto to see So You Think You Can Dance, say goodbye to Alathariel, and meet Bedroom Prince and Neenia's sexy new apartment.

I'm going to have Travis sign my Playbill from The Music Man.

I wish I were sexier.

I look fabulous in pictures.

I wish I had more time and were less lazy.

I wish I had something to cry about.

Awesome (The Wedding Singer)

So I've been running out of shampoo and decided not to buy a new bottle until I can find something really good. I had been using Dove, and when that ran out, I resorted to my mother's Herbal Essences (which I hate). I'm growing my hair out again, so I need something that'll take care of my curls. And because my hair tends to dry out easily, I need something expensive. None of this over the counter shit. That's why my friend took me to Aveda, where I spent over $80 on three bottles: Shampoo, Conditioner, and a little something for the day. Don't ask me for names because I don't know them. I didn't ask, and I didn't look at the prices. I just walked in, asked for the best shampoo for dry, curly hair, then asked if it would make me look black. (I really did, and I'm not sure the girl knew how to react, so I just laughed in her face.) I normally NEVER put product in my hair. I just wash, let it air dry and go. But I got this curly hair stuff that you just work into damp hair and then you never feel it again. It's brilliant. So I bought this stuff, and then I went home to use it.

Now I haven't washed my hair in a week, cause I'm cool like that. The chick had told me never to use more than a dime size of shampoo and conditioner, because it's not needed, and the bottle will last you forever. So I did, and my greasy hair squeeked as the stuff disappeared into my head. It was weird, but I let it go, and my hair was still greasy afterwards. So the next day I used a shit load and my hair was automatically restored and it now perfection. Soft, curly, stunning. I'm very happy.

I wonder how long I'll be happy for. I was really happy with KMS when I tried it a few years back, in a similar situation. But then I tried it again after they changed the packaging and I hated it. I loved Dove when I first used it. Now I'm over it. Maybe I just get bored easily. I'm cool like that. I don't feel like proof reading and editing. Will you please tell me if I have made any grammatical and spelling errors?

The Madness Of King Scar (The Lion King)

I find tattoos and body peircings extremely unappealing. I'm not attracted to people who have them, I'm not impressed by people who have them, and I am never going to do that to myself. I just don't get the fad. It all downright turns me off. Am I alone?

On The Street Where You Live (My Fair Lady)

A while back when I was talking about the day I took a dance class with Faye, I forgot to mention something really cool, that dansyantsypantsy should especially appreciate. She was talking about how she recently moved. Where did she move to? 19 Lascelles Blvd. Dun Dun Dun. You see, one upon a time DancingAntsInMyPants and I lived in that same apartment complex and even once watched porn off of a huge big screen tv in someone's apartment in that very building. Faye says she loves it and that the fountains were back up and running when she moved in. Isn't that awesome? Don't you just feel like that would have made our apartment so much prettier?

Hell No! (The Colour Purple)

Some of my friends received phones calls today regarding the show. One girl got Babette, another is a Silly Girl. It's 2:21am and I still have not received a call. I am upset and angry. This doesn't mean I'm not in the show, because they also make rejection calls, so no news is not necessarily bad news. However, I've heard from an inside source that I have been cast as Monsieur D'Arque and I'm not happy. Not at all. Especially since the only reason I got that role was because they needed me for dance chorus. I am livid. The guy who got Lumiere is fabulous and probably the only person I don't mind losing to. But the dude who got Lefou is no Skinny-Rabbit. Not by a long shot. So because he can't dance, I'm the creepy old guy who makes a cameo in Act II. What the fuck do I do now? Do I accept the role and go and be miserable and wow the fuck out of everyone come Act II? Is it even possible to wow people with such a forgettable role? (Maybe, I did it with Bobby in A Chorus Line, but I basically got to play myself there.)

I don't know if I would mind as much if I knew the choreography was going to be amazing. But I've heard bad things about our choreographer. That she's really simple, and does a lot of box steps. So to respond to your comment, princesse, she's a great choreographer for non-dancers. Plus, the apprentice choreographer is someone with no dance training whatsoever. She's just some guy who thinks she can dance. Ugh. She was teaching us the dance for the dance audition and her arms were so bad, I actually raised my hand and said "I'm confused about the arms here. Do you want them straight or bent?" She said straight, and then proceeded to dance with bent arms.

I think my plan of action is to accept the fucking role, show up for the first few rehearsals, and if I get too pissed off, annoyed or decide to have any diva moments, I will walk. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to find a script online so I can see if I actually have any cause to bitch as much as I do.

(PS - How great is it that I found a song called Hell No! to title this blog!)