Good Morning, Baltimore (Hairspray)

It's almost 4pm on Sunday afternoon. I woke up only an hour ago and stayed in bed watching this season's So You Think You Can Dance on tape. I love Natalie. I love Mia Michaels. I'm going to have breakfast now. Waffles. With lots of butter and loads of syrup. At 4pm on Sunday afternoon.

I Imagine You're Upset (Bat Boy)

Meh, I felt like a change.

Movies Were Movies (Mack And Mabel)

I go through movie spurts. There will be a month where I'll go to the theatres to see like three movies a week, and then I'll never go to the movies again for another six months. It's not planned, it just usually works out that when I go, I go a lot. I'm currently in my dry spell.

I was just watching a documentary on blockbuster successes versus flops, and how there is no formula for a perfect film, it just happens or it doesn't. I realized watching all those clips that there are so many amazing movies I have not seen yet. The Godfather, Out Of Africa, Driving Miss Daisy, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, The Way We Were, Jaws, Silence Of The Lambs, Shawshank Redemption, to name just a few. And then there are those brilliant movies that I have seen that I need to see again because I don't remember them. Taxi Driver, Harold and Maude, and others I can't think of right now.

I love watching movies. When I was in film school, I had a list of films I needed to see which grew everyday. Luckily, the video store which no longer exists was old school and offered this deal: rent five movies for six dollars for seven days. I bought myself a small tv with a built in vcr and watched a different movie every night. I need to do that again.

We're Ok (Rent)

I might have sounded a little upset about the whole not-a-lovah thing, but I'm really not. I was totally not into not-a-lovah. Well, I was, but then I wasn't. During the week off I fell out of like. It's all good and we will remain friends. I'm actually very optimistic. I was smiling all day today, even when I told some friends about it. I feel so much lighter and happier. Just like I have nothing to think about now so my mind is clear. It's good. Plus I didn't like his friends. Let's talk about this, yes?

So first he met one of my girls, who is the funniest person alive and hot and we are funny and hot together, and he loved her too. Then he met my other girl whom he instantly fell in love with. Those are my two main girls here in Ottawa. Then I met his. She is unattractive and thinks she's hot. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it because it's true. She keeps saying she's fabulous and that she wants to be Karen from Will and Grace, but she tries way too hard. She's not funny, but she thinks she is. Again, I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying it because it's true. Anyway, his girl has an extra ticket to the Shakira concert and my girl (#2) really wanted to go so not-a-lovah had his girl add my girl to msn. So they chatted, his girl loved my girl (as she should) and agreed that they'd go out to dinner and see if they gel in person and then she could have the ticket. Fair enough. Let me add that these are tickets she got for free, and they asked my girl to pay for hers. Whatevs.

So time goes by and then I run into not-my-lovah and not-a-girl-we-like and she went into this rant about how my girl deleted her from msn and she's not working hard enough to get the ticket and that she should be kissing her ass because other people are interested in going. So I tell my girl who thinks this is crazy and didn't delete her from msn and said "Fuck this, I'm not groveling to someone I don't even know." So she went and bought her own ticket in a better section for the same price they were going to make her pay anyway.

My friends are amazing. Not-my-lovah's friends are not. I win.

I still think not-a-lovah is a good egg. We'll still be friends indeed. But a conversation came up once where he said that his friends want him to come to their gathering but he didn't want to go because they just want him to entertain them because they are boring. My respond was that I don't make friends that are less entertaining than me.

I don't spend time with people who are boring. I only like the company of people who are equal to or greater than my entertainment value. My friends are my teammates. Look at my track record. Who did I live with in Toronto? All very entertaining people? Who am I going to live with in Vancouver? A very entertaining person. And all these people are people who complement my entertainingness. Who are you? All entertaining and fabulous people. I love my friends because I chose them. I chose them because I love them.

Isn't it funny when you start to write a blog about one thing and then it becomes something else?

Steve, you're great... no you cut the paper plate.

What's The Buzz (Jesus Christ Superstar)

What the eff? I don't understand what's happening with what-the-hell-is-happening-lovah. Things started out great the first two weeks, which ended with me spending the night and having a great time. Then I got my wisdom teeth out and spent the rest of the week alone, at home, understandably. But then once I recovered there was not much communication. I made a phone call on Friday afternoon from work to see what was going on for the weekend but received the answering machine. Not too long afterwards, lovah? walked into my work with a friend to get something to eat, not even seeming to care if I'd be there or not. But I was there, off shift, and sat with them, and all was ok. It was decided that I'd receive a phone call later that evening if he was available. The phone call never came. All weekend.

Tonight we're currently in a chat where this conversation has been occurring:

Me: so am I ever going to see you again? you know, not by accident?
Not me: you just killed my Sister Act soundtrack buzz
Me: that was my intention all along
Me: i was waiting for the right moment
Not me: anyway, probably
Me: just probably? not let's get together this week?
Not me: we could try to grab a coffee or go out on thursday?
Me: thursday night is do-able
Not me: gravy, on my mashed potatoes, gimme, gravy ...

Frustrating. Then this:

Not me: so, i seem to be sensing that you're actively unimpressed with me
Me: actively? not at all
Me: what do you talk?
Not me: my lack of availability
Me: i just have no idea if it's lack of availability or lack of wanting to see me
Me: there hasn't been much communication between us in the last couple of weeks
Not me: well, it's not specifically either a lack of availability or a lack of wanting to see you
Not me: i just have to see you in a friend capacity
Me: does that mean we won't be dating

It's been five minutes and there has been no reply to the question (maybe because I forgot the question mark). "I just have to see you in a friend capacity?" What the eff does that mean? Oh! A reply. Tell me what's a-happening.

Here we go:

Not me: i don't think things should move further in that direction. i really enjoy your company, but we're a bit too different to pull dating off successfully
Me: ok, that's fine. I just wanted to know

This is annoying because I had decided during my first week off that it was odd that I was not thinking about not-my-lovah all the time. Usually when I like someone they're all I think about and when I'm not around them it hurts. It didn't hurt. Still doesn't. I just wish I had called things off first, but my friends all told me he was too good to give up (but I don't like the way he dresses!).

The good news is that other people have expressed interest in me including a sexy silver fox, a recovering coke addict, and someone with a pool, so now I can play the field.

Holding Out For A Hero (Footloose)

I did a good deed today. Yes, my main reason for going to Montreal was to shop for a suit (and a sexy one I bought!), but I also went to play hero to Neenia. I found her in a hotel crying after the Russian beat her. (Editor's note, no Russian actually ever beat Neenia. Please do not send letters.) I bought her her very first shawarma. I can't believe she had never even heard of a shawarma. Luckily for her, we happened upon Amir, the greatest shawarma restaurant in the world. I promised her orgasms and boy did I deliver! So that was my good deed. Introducing a shawarma virgin to a shawarma.

No good deed goes unpunished. The stitch which has been loose in my mouth for a week now is knotted. What do I do? I WANT IT OUT!

The Best Of Times (La Cage Aux Folles)

Yesterday, I threw a wedding shower (I am the maid of honour). It was a grand success. The theme was The Amazing Race. We held it at another friend's house. We had clues hidden all over her huge house and tasks such as making a wedding dress out of toilet paper, finding a picture of a celebrity groom (Matthew Broderick, Michael Douglas, Elvis Costello...) and later, match him with his bride (Sarah Jessica Parker, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Diana Krall...). I knew how large the house is and I knew the rear of the house opened onto a lake and they had a canoe (which we took advantage of), but I had never actually gone outside and explored just what a magnificent property she lives on! The house is a maze in itself, beautiful home, but you go down this pathway, past all these trees that make you feel like you're in the jungle, and end up at a dock and you feel like you're at a cottage. It's amazing that this is all right smack in the middle of the city. I never imagined it would be so fabulous. I'm thinking of moving in. How do you post pictures on this thing?















Oh, that's how.

Summertime (Porgy And Bess)

...and the living is easy. I know I had some serious reservations about living in Ottawa. Yes, it has been extremely hard living under my parent's roof again, and not having easy access to independent and foreign films, stores that specialize in the sale of musical theatre cds, musical theatre karaoke, and good looking people with a sense of style and a sense of humour. But I have to say that this has actually turned out to be one of the best summers in recent history. I actually love going to work every day, because even though the money sucks, the people I work with are a lot of fun. I managed to get another musical under my belt, where I got a solo in which I got to sing jazz, and do my signature kicks, splits, and body rolls, and earned myself a whole new fan base. I'm in rehearsals for a short film in which I dance. And I've been going out more than ever. This city may have a shitty night life, but I've put that to the back of my mind have been enjoying the crappy drag shows and bad dancers. Oh, let's not forget the summer romance that's been blooming, however, after spending some time apart, I'm not too sure I want this to go anywhere. Plus, I've been kicking ass at paying my off my debt. As much as I just want to get to Vancouver already, I might have to postpone (once again) and wait until New Years. I'm confidant that I can be completely debt free if I wait until then. I think that's the smart thing to do. Actually, writing this all out just makes me miss Toronto. What the eff?

Poor, Poor Pharoah (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat)

I had my wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday morning. All went well. I was sitting in the chair, telling them that I had been sick the night before, as they placed the gas mask over my nose and injected something into my hand. I don't remember falling asleep. All I remember is waking up an hour later lying on a bed in the office. I'm very happy about that. I'm not swollen. I'm not bleeding. I'm not in any pain. The only problem is that I haven't eaten in three days and that's making me feel sooooo sick. I'm nauseous. I'm having intense cravings for pizza, shawarmas and Burger King. When do I get to eat something other than jello? WHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Special Man (Big)

I spent my first night with my soon-to-be-lovah last night. We watched Sex And The City, picking up where we left off, with Season 3, Episodes 4, 5 and 6. Carrie meets Aidan and in the next episode wonders why he hasn't tried to sleep with her yet. He's taking it slow. What a lovely parallel to my current situation. We went to bed and made out all night. Soon-to-be-lovah gives the best neck kisses. Actually drives me wild. The hands never go below the waist. Being the big tease that I am, I threaten to go beneath the waistband, but never do. Soon-to-be-lovah says "Are you going to rape me already? Because I've been waiting all night." My reaction: "Oh. I was kind of hoping we wouldn't have to go there yet." So we didn't. Soon-to-be-lovah is extremely respectful and accepts my wanting to take it slow. I'm just not sure how much longer I can hold out.

At least a week, that's how long! I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow!!!!!!! I'm worried because I'm feeling sick right now and didn't get sufficient food today, and recently threw up my last meal. Oye. Tomorrow is not going to be nearly as nice as last night.

Children Will Listen (Into The Woods)

I had just decided that I was going to go up to my room, put on some music and clean, clean, clean. Just as I was about to go upstairs, my mother said "Why don't you clean your room?" I stayed downstairs. I will not clean my room tonight.

My parents don't understand that the reason I haven't gone to get my license yet is because they keep telling me to go get my license.

This is why Klaus keeps telling Princesse Alathariel what to do as she's doing it. Because I need to deflect this personal terror on someone else (even though I know she experiences the same thing from her own family). I've even started doing it at work. I'll ask someone to brew a new pot of coffee as they're brewing it, and I'll ask them to run drinks as they are putting them on a tray.

Welcome To The World (john & jen)

Artsmonkey, Bedroomprince, Dancingantsinmypants, Neenia, Princessealathariel, I'd like you to meet the latest addition to our blogging circle, representing the east coast!

holycrap-gilbertsgirl.blogspot.com

See I'm Smiling (The Last Five Years)

Good night last night. Had one of my best friends here meet my new potentially future lovah at a diner. I was given the stamp of approval, the go ahead, if you will, as my friend fell in love and had nothing but positive things to say. Great. Remember when I said I felt no chemistry when we took that walk on the canal? After seeing my new potentially future lovah in lighting other than moonlight and interacting with a friend of mine, I was absolutely smitten. When we drove potentially future lovah home I asked if I could come up, and was met with a yes. Friend went home, I went up, making it clear that I was not coming over for sex, which was all good. We watched the first two episodes of Sex And The City Season 3 (where I left off on the DVD watching of the show), and debated the hotness of the politician (I adore the politician). Held hands. Accepted my neurotic worrying about my chronically sweaty palms and even took the time to accommodate my fidgeting hands, which needed stretching every now and then. Asked if I was a Charlotte. I pleaded my Miranda case, but after much discussion about how I feel about relationships, realized I definitely have a big part of Charlotte in me. Potentially future lovah happens to be more of a Samantha. But it turns out we have the same attitude towards sex. We both find it hard for other lovahs to get us off during sex. We'd both much rather just kiss and cuddle. Which is what we did until roughly 4:30am. I got in a cab, the sun started to come up. It was a great night and I look forward to future lovah becoming lovah.