Human Stuff (The Little Mermaid)

There aren't enough hours in the day for all the books I need to read, TV I need to catch up on and movies I need to discover.  Ugh.  Seriously.  I have a whole bunch of Sedaris books sitting on the floor next to my bed, unread.  I keep telling myself that at the end of the day I'll sit in bed and read, but instead I choose to need a couple of hours of sleep.  I could read in the bathroom but I've been taking quicker poos these days.  I have DVDs of The Muppets, Strangers With Candy, The Golden Girls, Sondheim musicals, and my collection of Woody Allen movies that I need to get through.  I bought all these things months ago but I can't find the time to watch them.  I can't even find the time to get to my singing lessons!  I haven't been to a class since the beginning of June.  Always with the last minute cancellations.  I don't have the time to call friends who haven't seen me in a couple of years.  I don't have time to call all my friends parents who want to see me and are lonely because their children have moved away.  I can't squeeze in a minute to call people to congratulate them on their new babies.  I never have time to use that gym membership I purchased three months ago.  I certainly don't make the time to talk to my parents.  Anytime they ask me a question I yell "not now!"

However I seem to have plenty of time to work like a madman (money is so nice these days). dance around in my room, watch Y&R and So You Think You Can Dance, Facebook creep, masturbate, hang out with one friend all the time and dream.

My Ottawa stand-up debut is tomorrow night at a real live comedy club!  Man I'm pumped!  I'm not really telling people because I want an audience of strangers to tell me if I'm funny and not my friends.  Hopefully doing this show will pump me up and motivate me to get of my ass and grow up.