I'm Only Thinking Of Him (Man Of La Mancha)

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I can't get the carpet out of my mind. I hate this. I HATE THIS FEELING. Ugh. It's so not what I want to be thinking about but it's all I do. He's always running around in my head. He seriously gets up in the morning, just before I wake up, puts on his cute little running shoes, crawls into my brain and jogs around, spinning thought of himself, while he smiles his adorable smile and waves excitedly. He doesn't stop until I go to bed. Where does he get the energy from? Fuck! And then in real life he's totally hard to read! On Sunday, when we had our orchestra rehearsal and move in to the theatre, he was being so cute and flirty. He accidentally got paint on my hoodie and later said that now I'll always think of him when I put it on. All I have to do is look at him and I melt. I want , him out of my life or in it completely. It's very frustrating. ARGH!

I'm not supposed to be like this. I've spent many many years training myself to love only me and think of only me and have sex with only me. Someone take away his running shoes.

On another note, we open on Friday night and I'm very excited.