Wednesday, January 07, 2009

If I Had Any Sense (Five Guys Named Moe)

Me and my fucking brain, changing its ideas every five fucking minutes.  Here's what's currently in store for me.  Who knows where the hell 2009 will take me.  Hopefully Burger King.

So I'm moving back to Toronto in a couple of weeks!!!  Yay!  I have a wicked one bedroom to sublet for the length of my contract.  That's set.  I have the gig.  That's also set.  I have the part time job at the restaurant.  That's set.  But what happens after May?  Here's what might.

I'll be submitting to the Arab Comedy Festival.  That's hot.  It's in New York City in May.  I want to get in so badly.  Why the fuck wouldn't I get in?  I'm pretty amazing.

I also plan on moving to Argentina.  I'm sorry, what?  Did you say Argentina?  Why, yes, thank you, I did.  Why?  I don't know.  Why do I do anything?  I've just recently realized that out of all the places I've been around the world, I've never been to South America.  Then I got this bizarre desire to focus on Buenos Aires (it's the Paris of South America, after all, and I really want to get off a train singing "What's New Buenos Aires" and then have a bunch of sexy latinos dance me around a dance floor.)  Then I realized I could get a transfer and work at a Hard Rock down there.  That's pretty sweet.  Built in job, fluent in the language, ready to lose my virginity.  It's all adding up.  What the hell, right?  So that's been my focus for the last week.  I also might use a different path to get there and go as an English teacher.  Which brings me to my other random thoughts of late.

I want to be a teacher.  But for reals.  I'm thinking of putting performing on the back burner temporarily and going back to University do complete a double major in English and Spanish.  Then do teacher's college and get a job as a high school English/Spanish/Drama teacher.  Or go abroad and teach English at a rich kid's private school.  Or get a job at an Embassy.  Or as a translator.  Or just travel for the rest of my life while working at Hard Rock Cafes.  The only flaw is that I'll be thirty four when I graduate.  Is that weird?  Then I realized I'm almost thirty.  Then I realized, do I really act or feel twenty eight right now?  Then I realized, no, I don't.  I feel that girl in theatre school who always lied about her age.  I'll just tell people I was born in 1990 and they'll think I'm starting my twenties instead.  Sound good?  Keep my secret, yes?

I also really want to do the Second City conservatory when I go back to Toronto, but you kinda have to do all the classes consecutively which means being in Toronto for a year at a time.  That could either throw a wrench in my Argentina plan or it could mean Argentina will throw a wrench in my stand up comedy plan.

Do I really want to be a teacher or do I want to be a stand up comedian?  Can I do both?  Where the hell did musical theatre go?  I want to get on TV.  Lord, please let me have it all, will ya?  Lord?  Can I be not be a stand up comedian teacher from Argentina living in New York as a slutty nanny?

Blog again.

3 comments:

Lindsay said...

I hope you get to go to Burger King.

Rice said...

You and neenia today -- making me laugh outloud in the library!

Um, Yes, pants, you can do it all. You can do stand up comedy almost anywhere, you can do musical theatre between things, you can get on tv eventually, you can be in your early twenties, you can hang in Argentina for a while, you can lose your virginity in New York, you can travel forever, you go to Second City and you can teach.

Okay?

artsmonkey said...

wow. you're more all over the map than i am. i like it. i think you should do it all like some sort of travelling circus.
i think we hit a panic mode when we are less than 2 years away from a new decade. like i feel like i'll be dead by 30 or something.
but it's not true!!!