Friday, June 27, 2008

The Sudden Thrill (Carnival In Flanders)

I'm in a bit of an awkward situation. I've been dating a guy for the past week, but it's all in my head. It's weird. He's in town for a little over a week and so far we've spend nearly every day together. Every night we share feels like a date. But it never ends in anything more than a hug. Not a friendly hug. A nice, hard hug. He puts his hands on my shoulder, back, leg, arm, in my hair, often. I never see him touch anyone else. This might mean he likes me, right? He texts me every day. He's commented on my eyes. We've had good talks. It feels like he's my boyfriend. I'm comfortable with him. I've always found him attractive but I never let myself be attracted to him until I realized that he's attracted to me. And yet he hasn't made a move on me. Is it all in my head? I would love to be in a relationship with this person. Maybe he's just moving super slowly because he's got a shady past. We talk so openly with each other. It feels like he's my boyfriend. I want him to just tell me he wants me, or plant a big kiss on me, so that we can fall in love already. He'll kiss me, tell me he wants me, I'll say the same, we'll make arrangements to split my bus fare from Ottawa to Toronto for me to visit him, it'll be hard not to live in the same place but we'll work it out until I move back there, then I'll move there and get my own place but I'll always be at his place, we'll create together, start a company together, make love together, and then something will happen and he'll hurt me and I'll leave him but come crawling back because I love him more than I love myself and I know that he didn't mean to do it, he's just going through a hard time and I need to be there for him, not abandon him, so I'll get back together with him under certain conditions and everything will be perfect on the outside from then on. He'll be the first great love of my life. That's what'll happen. If only something could happen already! Our week together is almost over! Hurry, lovah! I'm right here!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey pumpkin,
it is far far better that nothing happen and you share intense longing instead, because, knowing you, an hour and a half after you kiss for the first time you'll lose interest completely.

artsmonkey said...

dammit! i want something to happen for you!... do i know this person btw? sorry...i'm just imagining your life in my head.