Sunday, January 27, 2008
Don't Know Where I Leave Off (Sweet Smell Of Success)
I'm not a self-loathing gay. I love myself. I think I'm pretty amazing the way I am. I just happen to be gay. I didn't choose to be gay. My mother's vagina made me that way. So is it so wrong that I don't exactly support gay marriage? Is there a problem with the fact that I don't believe in Pride Week? Is it okay that I think anal sex is disgusting and wrong? Am I awful for using the expression "that's gay" in a negative context on regular occasions? A friend of mine recently asked me what I thought of Daniel's new blond look on The Young And The Restless and I told her that it looks gay and they should make his character a homo. She replied that one of the things she loves about me is how anti-gay I can be. I told another friend that I think bum sex is wrong and she asked me half-jokingly if I'm homophobic. People constantly ask me how I know I'm gay if I've never tried bum sex. And they don't understand why I don't enjoy oral sex. Why does sex define our sexuality? I may not have sex with men, but I don't have sex with women, either. I'm attracted to men. I'm not attracted to women. I fantasize about men. I don't fantasize about women. It's as simple as that. Isn't it? People always make comments that I can't have sex with a girl because I'm a homo, but I beg to differ. As long as I'm naked, I'm pretty much hard. I can stick it in an Octopussoire. That's not a problem. The problem is the vag is weird to me. I don't want to look at one. However, I do wonder what it would be like and I hope to try it some day. (I know, I know, I'm contradicting myself. Live with it.) When I picture myself settling down and having kids, I'm with a woman, not another man. I also wouldn't mind dating a girl for an undisclosed periode of time. I'm very close with my friends who are girls and believe I could have a loving relationship with any one of them. And I've always gotten along better with chicks than dudes. I actually think I'd be much happier living my life with a gal that I along with swimmingly, than with a guy. I guess you could call me straight-curious. Do I need therapy? I'm happy to think I'm very well-adjusted and everyone else out there is the weirdo.
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4 comments:
but, you're not a weirdo and neither is anyone else. okay, well, you are, and other people are too. But you can contradict yourself as much as you want and no one is allowed to judge you. You can be curious, or gay or bi or straight or anti or homo or hetero or phobic or supportive or whatever you want.
I don't think it's fair that you judge others--saying you don't support gay marriage and not believing in the pride parade and thinking anal sex is wrong just because you feel those things about yourself--but you don't want people to judge you... But that's just something else your good friends love about you!
I think you'll find everything you want!
we are all too confined by labels and constructs of society. but we can't help it to a certain extent.
sometimes i think i should have been a gay man... i like being female, don't get me wrong, but i go about things differently.
Um, PA, do you know me at all? I'm not judging those the people who engage in the acts. I just would never engage in those acts myself. Just because I think they are ridiculous, doesn't mean I think the people who do them are ridiculous.
yeah I know skinny. I don't know why I wrote that. On re-reading I was like, who's this claire bitch? Neenia said it in the perfect way: to each his own.
Although, I love parades and any reason for one is fine by me.
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