Here's Where I Stand (Camp)

Ok, so I recently watched Love, Actually. Everyone who has seen it tells me they love it. I love multiprotagonist films and I like british films so I figured I would love it also. Turns out I wasn't impressed. I actually thought it was not a good movie. There were some great moments. I really liked the little boy. He's adorable, a sweet actor, and I like the twist that he was in love and that's why he was so downtrodden, not because his mother died. But what was with that scene at the airport? I'm sorry, but do all little tiny boys know their way through an airpor well enough that they can out-run security and not have to stop to check what gate this girl he was chasing after was departing from? How did he know where to run to? Please tell me. And then when he is taken back to Liam, the little chick comes out to kiss him on the cheek. I'm sorry, did her really say "Ok, black daughter, you can go all the way back to see thi kid. We'll just hold have them hold the plane. Did security say, "Sure, little black girl, go ahead and return from where you came. We won't find this suspicious or have to re-search you when you come back through. And Liam... oh, Liam. You were fine and all, but the Claudia Schiffer thing. It was cute up until the point where he meets her, only she has a different name. She's just the same person with the same voice but not a model.

Keira Nightley, why were you in this movie? You and your two men had no connections to the rest of the cast, except at the end when we find out that you just happen to be friend with Colin Firth. I'm sorry, what?! You had nothing to do with each other throughout the entire movie, he wasn't even at your wedding and all of sudden you, the black dude and the white dude, who are all sooo much younger than him, are his best friends? That's gay. Also gay is what the fuck was up with that storyline? I really liked the character of the dude in love with his best friends's wife, but it was said that he never spoke to her, so how did he end up falling so hard for her exactly? And how did the three of them end up staying friends? And how did he know that she would answer the door and not him?

Back to Colin. He and that maid. It was a cute storyline, but the whole he says something in english and she says practically the same thing in portuguese... that was retarded. So forced. So dumb. Just... dumb. But I really liked her sister. Like, I like-like her.

Laura Linney, you were great and I liked you story. But why did it die out? You didn't even get a moment at the end?

Hugh Grant... fine, I'll accept this one but it's still cliche.

I did love some shit. Like the scene where Laura Linney's in bed with that sexy fucker, but her brother keeps calling her, and the scene that follows it at the hospital. That was good shit. We needed more of that. Emma Thompson's character rocked the shit. I totally dug her story. But exactly what was her connection of Liam Neeson?

The stand-in couple were just darling.

Ugh, and the Colin Firth story had such promise! If only they hadn't fucked up with the cheesy dialogue.

UGH! And what the hell was up with that dude who goes to the States to get laid? What was with te stupid cameos and the absolutely ridiculous dialogue that turned the movie into American Pie 8? That really actually pissed me off.

I didn't who the fuck I was supposed to care about in this film. I didn't have time to invest in anyone. Except Emma. Just when I had bought into Laura, she disappeared. But everyone else... I wasn't sure who was likeable and who wasn't. I wasn't sure why I should like any of these people at all. I think it was a poorly made film. I'm not satisfied. That's just the way I feel. Don't hate.

If this movie taught me anything, it is that there are a lot of black people in London, but none of them are important.

I believe I am done speaking on this subject.