The Elephant Song (70, Girls, 70)

I feel like a new blog, but don't feel like writing anything in particular so I'll repost this msn conversation I just had with that dude I dated for like two weeks last year. We haven't spoken in months and months but he's kept in touch with one of my fruit flies. He messaged me out of the blue today. This conversation reminds me of why I liked him.

Him
Dear Skinny-Rabbit,
Please be advised that I have been doing my best to tend to Susan's (heretoforth, "Your Fag Hag") emotional needs in your absence. While I pledge committment and effort, I cannot guarantee that I will meet Your Fag Hag's need to spontaneously break into song with a homosexual male. I wish you continued success in your new(er) endeavours.
Warmest regards,
Not-a-lovah
Me
Not-a-lovah, thank you for letting me know that you are there for what's her face. We finally spoke on the phone today after much phone tag playing. I am happy there is another gay in town to keep her somewhat satisfied.
Him
LOL
Me
how are you doing, by the by?
Him
things could certainly be worse. so i'll refrain from complaining. for now. it's just so tough, because complaining is how i do. it's how i roll.
Me
I'm quitting my job because it's turned me into a complainer. That's not what I want to be when I grow up.
Him
what job [was] that?
Me
back at the hard rock in Toronto.
It was always annoying when I worked here the first time, but things have gotten more complainy during the year and a half I was away.
Him
well, i'm not trying to gossip, but i've heard that the bussers have attitude and the salsa is made with PLUM tomatoes. PLUM. the audacity.
Me
You may have your hard rocks mixed up. We don't hire bussers at the TDot Hard Rock.
But I will confirm the salsa tid-bit.
Him
or you could ruin a poor attempt at humour. whichever you prefer.
Me
I like to keep things as uncomfortable as possible.
Him
HA. yeah. no one wants a cozy ass-groove when they can have a bed of nails.
Me
that's what I keep telling my co-workers, but they just keep on complaining.
Him
which brings the conversation full circle. and quickly. how impressive
Me
it was getting old
my eyes have been wandering
Him
*looks around; hums a britney spears megamix as a gesture of agreement*
Me
I went to a club last night where they mixed Amy Winehouse singing Rehab to the beat of Toxic. It was nice.
Him
and a social commentary.
Me
relevant.
Him
the only thing better than a remix is a remix with right-wing ideology embedded therein
Me
that's all I ask for from a dj. Give me something to dance to that will really make me think.
Him
that's why i like the pussycat dolls' "buttons". pro- or anti-seamstress? a conundrum for the ages.
Me
those felines sure do tackle the hard issues that everyone else is afraid to talk about.
Him
to think, it started with meow mix. try and argue against revolution now.
alright, i'm out. i'm going to heaven (club). because i'm worth it.
Me
I've always said that about you.
Him
awwwwwh
you said something nice. are you ill?
Me
no, no, I meant that I've always said that you're out.
Him
what a relief. i don't have the number for EMS in toronto
have a lovely evening, skinny-rabbit
Me
I wish you the same Mr. Not-a-lovah