Saturday, May 26, 2007
A Certain Girl (The Happy Time)
I didn't know her very well. I definitely didn't like her. She was like that girl at our school who lied all the time and lived with ArtsMonkey. I didn't think she was a good person. I didn't understand her. I didn't want to. I gossiped about her. I made fun of her. Someone once tried to defend her to me saying that if I knew why she was like that I would not talk about her that way. I just don't like people I can't trust. I found out tonight that she commited suicide this morning. I don't know how to feel about that. No one I've actually known, other than my grandparents, has passed away, thank God. I didn't see this coming but I knew she was a troubled girl and I can't say that I'm surprised. It's terrible that she succeeded in her attempt to take her own life. Someone said it was a very selfish thing to do. It is. Her passing leaves so many unanswered questions and so many grief-stricken people. Our show opens next week. I know she's going to be on everyone's minds. That's probably what she wanted. I guess I'm a terrible person for thinking ill of her even when she's gone. I'm just not sure what I should be feeling right now. I barely knew her. It's probably awful that I chose a song from the musical The Happy Time to title this blog. I didn't do it on purpose. This is not a happy time. I had a suicidal phase in grade nine, as I'm sure most people do at some point in their lives. I never made any attempts, I just contemplated it for some time. I was just seeking attention. I never would have had the guts to go through with it. I'm glad I never did. I love my life.
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9 comments:
she was in your show? the girl you wrote about in a previous blog? you're not an awful person. you acknowledged that it was an awful thing which it is when anyone commits suicide. but you didn't know her and didn't like her so it's understandable that you wouldn't feel anything more. i would react the same way if it had been the girl in our school that lied all the time and lived with artsmonkey.
Not the same girl. This one's from the show I did after that one.
I'm so confused. and scared because i don't know who you're talking about. but i feel terrible nonetheless. you shouldn't feel bad. you didn't do anything. you just had misplaced feelings. it happens a lot.
who is this person? I need to know.
OH NO........i do know who it is. oh dear. skinnyrabbit, you were not the only one with those thoughts.
No, no, no! It's no one you know! It's someone from Ottawa who did not go to our school. I was just comparing the two girls so that you could see what kind of person she was so you could understand where I was coming from.
I don't like it when those things are successful. It hurts my stomach.
oh my gosh!! I'm sorry to here that then. I've literally been walking around for the last 2 days thinking that the girl who lived with artsmonkey commited suicide. that's so strange.
You and I feel very similar about this person and this situation.
That is to say that if this person is that person who lived with Arts Monkey in which I know now after reading other comments that she is not.
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