Bright Lights, Big City (Bright Lights, Big City)

Ok, so I had a fucking blast in New York last week. Here are some highlights.

Day 1 - Back In The City (Bright Lights, Big City)

I arrive and take a cab to DansyAnsyPansy's workplace. We walk up Tribeca to SoHo where we stop at a cute little place to eat and admire all the fucking hot people in this town. Damn. We go see Spring Awakening. I like it. It wasn't the phenomenal show I've heard so much about. The acting was week. The voices were amazing. I enjoyed the staging, but Pants didn't and I understand her points. The fat girl with glasses sitting on stage trying to ignore the performers around her gave us a good laugh. I was disappointed to find out they reduced all the gay sex to one comedic kissing scene. But I found the music neat. It has Randolph written all over it. The "lyrical" choreography was ridiculous and unnecessary. The soundtrack is addictive.

Day 2 - Stay In My Life (Bright Lights, Big City)

Went on a date to see Company. They auctioned off the kazoo that the love of my life, Raul Esparza, played on stage during Side By Side By Side for Equity Fights AIDS. I won the bidding and was brought backstage where I entered an office and found the adorable Raul sitting behind a desk in his little Bobby suit. He shook my hand and I believe the first thing I said was "I'm in love with you." The kazoo was signed and in a ziplock bag, and he signed my program and I made him hug me and pose for a picture. He's so lovely and I'm going to marry him one day. Other things I did that day were go see The View where The Pirate Queen performed and the entire audience got free tickets except for me because I was VIP. Isn't that backwards? I also went on a date with a neurotic and unattractive Jew with a Brooklyn accent who called me hot when I said "Eh." Nothing happened, except that he gave me some NYC condoms.

Day 3 - Wednesday (Bright Lights, Big City)

Curtains was the tightest show I saw. So happy to see Kander and Ebb finally have a hit musical again. Especially since it's their last. It was funny, entertaining from start to finish, strong performances, just good fun. Then I went to see Angela Lansbury and Marian Seldes in Deuce. I was going to see Audra McDonald in 110 In The Shade, but figured two old legends are better than one young one, so I chose that. The play wasn't great, but they totally stuttered through the show as they tried to keep track of their lines. That was fun to watch. I love live theatre. I did not love their costar. He sucked. I believe he is a graduate of the Lindsay Kramer School of Acting. Three seats over from me was a total cutie I made eye contact and smiles with. I wanted to ask him out after the show but I had to poo. It's the biggest regret of my life.

Day 4 - Heart and Soul (Bright Lights, Big City)

Went to see Regis and Kelly and damn that chick is hilarious! Neenia and that other girl arrived and we were fabulous on the west side, recreating Carrie and Berger's first date. Went to see A Chorus Line and were all very disappointed. Neenia wondered aloud why there were no BGs in that production. I wondered the same thing. We then headed to the free Rufus concert that Bedroom Prince has told us about, and I met up with my next date there. Everything was very confusing at the club. And then slightly boring. We left before Rufus arrived. My date took me to his neighbourhood (Chelsea) and to a dinner that he often frequents. He warned me as we entered that he's there so much they know his name. It was super cute. They came over to comment on how his menu was open for the first time in forever. I loved seeing how he had found a little bit of comfort in the big city. We talked about a wide variety of topics and the conversation was never uneasy or awkward. He was super sweet. He told me his coming out story. His father was the first one to approach him about it when he was 23 and told him that he fully supports him no matter what. I couldn't help myself, my eyes started to tear up. The way he told me that, with such love for his family, ugh! I love his family and I don't even know them. Maybe it's because he's a therapist, but I felt like I could tell him anything. He then walked me to the subway and I hugged him goodbye. No moves. He has a weird tooth thing. I like slight flaws in teeth, so I like the big gap between his two front teeth, but there was something funky happening with one tooth in particular, but I couldn't stare long enough to find out.

Day 5 - Are You Still Holding My Hand? (Bright Lights, Big City)

Went to Greenwhich Village and SoHo with Neenia and that other girl, and then saw Spelling Bee, which was good, but not absolutely fabulous, like I was expecting. The I Will Be Loved Tonight girl from I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change girl was playing Rona so that was neat. She was really good.

Day 6 - Perfect Feeling (Bright Lights, Big City)

Went to Central Park with Neenia and that other girl. It was the most beautiful day in the world. In the world. Most beautiful. A dancing french baby who fell on her face made it even more perfect. Then I went to see my girl Fantastia in The Colour Purple (I refuse to type Color), and holy fuck was that an amazing end to my trip. The entire audience was black. Mostly women. It was fucking incredible the way this audience responded to the show. They were hooting and hollering, and in a good way. Not heckling. Just fucking having a fabulous time and not afraid to hide it. Fantasia kicked ass and during her big solo at the end, from the beginning of the number they were verbally supporting her and sitting forward in their seats, just offering the kind of energy most actors dream an audience would give. It was a fantastic feeling. They were giving their homegirl love and she was giving it right back. By the end they were up out of their seats. It was nutty, I tell you. I came home and told everyone in my show that we need to fill our audience with black people and recast with black people and we'll have a great show no matter what.

Albert misses Wanda.