Saturday, December 08, 2007

Don't Unmask Your Beauty To The Moon (Rockabye Hamlet)

So about a month ago I guess I must have put something out into the universe and the laws of attraction have been sending men my way. It's an odd thing. I've never felt unattractive, but I've also never had any delusions. I never pick up and rarely get looked at. I've always been cool with that. I like me. I never give out the I'm-the-guy-you-wanna-take-home-right-now vibes. Yet, a month ago, I was singing some karaoke and rocking it out, when a boy asked for my phone number. I was flattered, of course, but uninterested. I suppose I'd been feeling very confident around this time, but still was not looking to meet anyone new unless they suited my taste, which this fellow did not. After some mild pressure from my friends, I went over and gave him my number. He called me and we've been dating ever since. That's fine. But this dude really likes me. No, but like really likes me. And I... really like that about him. On our third date, we were kissing and he said "I really like you, Skinny-Rabbit." I can't say I was feeling the same so I sarcastically said "Oh, really, I couldn't tell." On our seventh date we had a talk were he told me that he thinks about me a lot and I reiterated what I told him on our fourth date, that I want to take things slow and not get serious too soon after meeting each other. We still have so much to learn about each other and don't forget, he asked me out. Therefore, from the get-go he's been more into me than I into he. We've just had our eighth date tonight. Things have been going very well. He's slept over a few times now and we kept our clothes on every time. We haven't even touched each other in our special areas yet! He did once accidentally and immediately apologized, and I just laughed at him. But seriously, how respectful, hey! There's nothing wrong with him except that I'm just not that into him. That doesn't seem fair, but it's true. I get to like him more and more every time I see him and I very much enjoy spending time with him. Both of us are planning to leave Toronto before the next year is over and he has admitted that the long distance thing has never worked for him. So where could this possibly go? I don't even have a nickname yet to call him on my blog, except maybe firecrotch.

Moving on to a slightly different, but still a related topic... Maybe it's because I know that someone wants me, but I'm now finding that I'm getting checked out everywhere I go. I may just be noticing it more because I'm checking them out in return now, which I never would have done before. Someone told me that the reason for this can be found in The Secret. Because someone is attracted to me, I believe myself to be attractive, therefore other people are attracted to me. What a theory! On our second date, I was approached by someone telling me that I am "extremely good looking" and another dude tried to follow me into the bathroom. I see a lot of cute homos at my work and they all like to check out me and the other gay hosts. I always smile back but never do anything about it. Today, after my date, I was on the streetcar home, and I turned around to see a fellow standing by the doors and smiling at me. He signaled that I should get off with him. I smiled, shook my head and turned away. I don't know. I might have gotten off with him. I might have given the cute boy at table 27 my number. I might have invited that drunk guy into the bathroom with me. But as long as I'm dating someone I don't feel comfortable doing anything more than flirting with a stranger. I have joked that I am going to keep dating this dude and use this law of attraction to land myself someone better. I'm kind of kidding though. Besides, I've never been the slutty type.

5 comments:

Lindsay said...

One could put it that way (The Secret way. Or, you could put it like I do: when you're not in a relationship (or you are, but it's open) nobody's interested and finding a man to sleep with is like trying to have sex with your clothes on. But, when you are in a relationship (and it's closed), suddenly every hot guy you meet wants to put his penis in your vagina. Or your bum, in your case.

Highly frustrating and unfair.

artsmonkey said...

ha. funny neenia. but true.
i think you and i are in similar situations, skinny. but i'm starting to really like guy who likes me more... or is it just liking being liked? dunno. i say enjoy it.

Warrior Princesse Alathariel said...

I still say passion can evolve from no passion. I'm glad you enjoy spending time with him. Do you make each other laugh?
Do you feel like you have unsatisfied needs?
You clearly don't want to hurt him.
Either way, just go with it! this seems like a fun time in your life! Let's hang out more so I don't miss it!

Warrior Princesse Alathariel said...

why you no comment on my blog anymore?

bedroomprince said...

I always thought you were a looker. I still do.